A friend today reminded me I had a blog, and I realized I should be writing more :)
So it's June now, my last post in February... I had been keeping up the pace of coming out to at least a person a week, but now I've run out of people to tell - so I suppose it's OK that I haven't kept the pace.
The weight of being authentic has lifted somewhat. It's hard to explain, but as I've emerged and as my transition continues I am realizing that I no longer have to do anything to feel right, I simply am. This has meant that I no longer feel good just when my presentation matches my felt gender, it has spread everywhere and now I feel kind of like I'm cross-dressing for work. This has put additional pressure on stepping up my transition date as there's really no work-related reason to continue to delay.
My wife and I have stepped back a bit from our participation in the trans community, not because we don't have great friends there but because we're realizing how much it has inadvertently taken away from our own couple time. Instead of going to the Spring Fling event in May for example, we called to ensure same-sex couples were welcome at the Couples Resort in Whitney ON and took a mini vacation up north. It was incredible, both from our relationship standpoint and from the acceptance we received at the resort. It remains our favourite getaway spot, the venue is beautiful, the rooms richly decorated, and the food is exquisite.
As my wife and I will be living as a same-sex couple soon, we've made efforts to connect with the local PFLAG chapter in order to make some local friends. And as is my nature, our attendance has lead to a bit of involvement. Tomorrow is the first-ever Pride parade in Durham Region and I've volunteered to cook the sausage for the PFLAG family breakfast beforehand.
There have been some amusing things that have happened since getting involved in PFLAG; my personal and business selves have begun to blur... it's lead to conversations among my contacts like "It looks like (my company) is going to be placing an ad in Pink Pages", "Great, I know (my guy name) there, he's the owner", "Oh yeah? I was talking to Gillian, she's an owner too"... :)
My wife's parents came back from wintering in Florida and we told them in May. They were pretty shocked. Her mum has met me, and is working towards acceptance but I think her dad is avoiding the issue.
I hadn't pushed my own parents much, but with being out and about so much I asked my mum when they'd like to meet me. They came back and said we needed to have a "serious conversation" first. So at this point I'm waiting for that to happen, perhaps with a tiny bit of dread but I'm keeping an open mind about it.
I'd really like to set a date for transition, my wife and I have talked about August or September. I'm apprehensive actually setting it because of my parents' recent shift but it so needs to happen, and soon.
